Cockney Rhyming Slang
My grandmother was born within the sound of Bow Bells, so she was a real Cockney. And yet I never heard her use Cockney rhyming slang. (The fact that she’d moved to East Anglia while still very young might explain that, I suppose.)
The principles of Cockney rhyming slang (CRS) are very simple. You use a word that rhymes with the word you want to use. So a road becomes a frog and toad, a piddle becomes a Jimmy Riddle, and someone you don’t like very much is a complete Merchant Banker.
Quite often, the rhyming word is dropped. So you get plates (plates of meat, feet), or a barnet (Barnet fair = hair = hairstyle). But there’s always an exception that proves the rule; north and south = mouth is never abbreviated.
It’s like a code – particularly when the second word is dropped, it can be quite difficult to work out what people are talking about. It may well have started as criminal argot meant to confuse the police. While some phrases have entered the English language – like “let’s have a butcher’s” (butcher’s hook = look) or “on my tod” (Tod Sloan = alone) – others remain impenetrable to outsiders. Some of the newer coinages form a kind of linguistic showing off – the more outlandish they are, the better.
Traditional CRS is still alive. You might not hear it in Central London but you will in some of the outlying boroughs. But of course, once you’ve started rhyming, you need never stop, so there are new words being added to CRS all the time. Celebrities’ names are often borrowed – even our Antipodean chums have added Edna Everage (beverage).
So, if you’re ready, this little primer starts traditional and ends up a bit more modern:
Your jam jar might be cream crackered, but you can always walk down the frog and toad on your own plates.
And once you’re in the Nuclear you can get a round of Britneys and still have change from an Ayrton.
Go for a Ruby Murray afterwards – but don’t get too elephant’s trunk, get Uncle Dick or fall on your drum’n'bass,or your trouble might have something to say about it.
Translation:
Your car might be knackered, but you can still walk down the road on your own feet. Once you’re in the pub (nuclear sub) you can get a round of beers, and still have change from a tenner (Ayrton Senna). Go for a curry afterwards, but don’t get too drunk, get sick or fall on your face, or your wife (trouble and strife) might have something to say about it.
It’s all a good laugh. But you’re probably advised to stick to ordinary English when you’re out and about. Otherwise you might get asked if you’re having a bubble (bubble bath = laugh).
Oh yes. Better admit it – I’m not a Cockney. So I’m not an authority on the dialect – just an intrigued amateur!
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